Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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