Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Send help, water and tortillas.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize