yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
