i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
