I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
