from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
