Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
