I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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