Plan B is the new Plan A
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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