It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
