Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
