just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
No subtext here. People are naked.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
