I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
A+ Viking dick
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
