the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
