How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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