Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
