ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
