It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
