I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I looked at my own cervix.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
