Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
