Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
