Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
