are you so shy because you have an std?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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