If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
