dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
