You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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