toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
