this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
