Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize