Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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