Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
