last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My day in three words: secret purse cake
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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