like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
