Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
