My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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