Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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