You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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