When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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