your parents love me but you hate me
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There r osticjed everywhere
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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