I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
