If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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