this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
