we have pet lesbian snakes
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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