I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
