You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She bit a glass in half.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
