You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
