I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
