Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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