we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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