his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
