Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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