Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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