Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
