He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
