Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
