He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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