you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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