I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize