Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
