I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's blow job season.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
