med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think people are normalizing furries
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
