i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
