Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
